Instructions:
Step 1: Open your MP3 [CD] player.
Step 2: Put all of your music on random.
Step 3: Write down the first 20 songs it plays, no matter how embarrassing.
I only have 173 MP3s on my laptop, but I'll gladly play along -
Elephant Man – Dutty Boot Riddim
Double Dee and Steinski – Lesson 2
Cee-Lo – Closet Freak
Zack De La Rocha and DJ Shadow – March of Death
Wiley – Eskimo
Wiley – Freeze (Vocal Mix)
White Stripes – Fell in Love with A Girl
The Books – PS
TV on the Radio – Satellite
Snoop Dogg – From tha Chuuch to Da Palace
Aesop Rock – Hold the Cup
Ward 21 – Game
Young Guns – Can't Stop, Won't Stop
TV on the Radio – Mr. Greives
R. Kelly – Ignition (Remix)
Orphanage (Slug, Eyedea, Aesop Rock, Illogic, Blueprint, Sage Francis) – Freestyle (which I did not realize until just now is 51 minutes long and, thus, taking up precious space better devoted to No Limit singles)
Nu Shooz – I can't wait (12" Version)
Ying Yang Twins – Salt Shaker
Wiley – Avalanche
LCD Soundsystem – Beat Connection
This may look like a super cool-dude type of list, but if you asked me the last 20 things that had been on my turntables, the partial answer would be-
Yes
Teddy Pendergrass
Hall and Oates
Yellow Magic Orchestra
Berlin
Soundtrack to "Xanadu"
So, lets not go canonizing anyone quite yet (although the Hall and Oates has a seriously feirce break on it).
Saturday, February 21, 2004
Thursday, February 19, 2004
GOVERNOR PERRY IN GAY SEX SCANDAL?
I can hardly believe it - I actually have a bit of a scoop. Apparently, the 1st lady has left the Texas Governor's Mansion, after finding the Scary Perry in bed with Secretary of State Connor. Connor is apparently the next best thing to openly gay, and rumors about this have been going around since January.
Sources, including former and current aides of Connors', indicate that this is more than just a wild rumor. But we'll do what we can to help make it one.
Here's a source link.
Sources, including former and current aides of Connors', indicate that this is more than just a wild rumor. But we'll do what we can to help make it one.
Here's a source link.
Wednesday, February 18, 2004
The Teddy Pendergrass Guide to Making it With the Ladies (as told to SleepNotWork).
Yesterday, I grabbed a copy of Teddy Pendergrass' 1979 album Teddy in Goodwill. It was released on Philly International, and most of the songs are produced by Gamble and Huff, so I was pretty sure it'd be okay – I just didn't imagine that it would be pure genius from end to end. The tunes are beyond nice, of course – I mean, this is Gamble and Huff, so it's an absolute smorgasbord of buttery horns, weepy strings, and delicate, insinuating rhythms. But the really mind-blowing part is Teddy's lyrics, which, as a good ol' fashioned sexually repressed white person, I consider to be less a handbook in techniques of seduction and lovemakin', than a glimpse into an alternate universe in which I will never set foot.
The first song is "Come Go with Me," and it's about Teddy picking up a girl at the club. He lays his game out right from the start, and his follow-through is direct - but he still manages to come off subtle, like he's not just some sleazoid hustler, but instead a classy, upfront guy who just happens to be after sex with a complete stranger:
"I don't feel like being lonely tonight/
You see I want . . . I want some company."
Teddy's voice, despite his upwardly mobile approach to matters of love, has the blues in it like Robert Johnson – he's carrying a heavy load of heartache, and he works it. Right from the start, he makes himself vulnerable – he's lonely, just lookin' for a little company to distract him from a deep, abiding sorrow. Any woman who'd let those sorts of wounds go unconsoled would have to be truly cold and unfeeling – right?
"You look like you're the type for me/
You're the kind whose spirits are running free."
See how he turns the act of sleeping with him as some sort of rebellion, an assertion of independence? What if you could convince girls that rubbing up against you was akin to their, say, throwing themselves in front of Chinese tanks in Tiananmen? That's like the laser-guided precision missile of pickup lines – it gets the job done, while sparing the innocent emotions and self-respect that are so often the unfortunate casualties.
"Let's take a sip of some cold, cold wine/
And dance to the music nice and slow.
You won't be under any kind of pressure . . .
You'll see we'll just let the evening flow."
Best line of the song, right there: "You won't be under any kind of pressure." Great within the song, and hilarious in what it expresses to me. If I ever told a girl she "wouldn't be under any pressure," I'd be more likely to get smacked for that than for, say, asking her to go make out. Because A) while it at first seems downright demure, it actually reinforces that sex is one of the possibilities for the evening, and B) it's just so slimy! Eeeeeew!
And it's not like girls in Teddy's day took him at face value – but it, again, helped them feel good about what they were doing by getting them to think about it in a different way. If it's just "hanging out" rather than "going home with a total stranger," she's less likely to feel like she's doing something dangerous, stupid, or worst of all, slutty. See, Teddy's all about building her up - it's utterly amazing.
(Chorus)
"C'mon over to my place (Background: would you do that baby, would you do that baby?)"
Notice how he's asking if she would "do that," i.e. if she would "c'mon over to my place," while simultaneously asking if she would "do that," i.e. let him use her body as a pommel horse.
Teddy: "My car's right outside, we can leave right now/
That's if you're ready to go.
I know that you're just meetin' me/
I'd understand if you said no . . . but don't you do it babe, don't you do it!"
The last bit is delivered in a tragic wail, as if, though he would gladly let her go if she said no, he would take into himself at that moment not only his own loneliness and disappointment, but also a deep knowledge of the joy that this poor girl, in her misguided pretense of virtue, had missed out on sharing with him. It wouldn't just be a tragedy for Teddy, it would be a tragedy for the whole damn cosmos.
As great as all this is, the really genius part of the song comes about two thirds of the way through, when a girl's voice enters the scene, and we hear Teddy, still in full, mournful throat, working to close the sale:
Teddy: "Come on home with me . . . come over to my place"
Girl (Firm, but with a hint of doubt): No. No. Un-uh. Not tonight, no.
Teddy: "It's not far from here . . .
Girl: "I'm leaving."
Teddy (not losing his cool a bit, and, remember, still singing): Would you just take a minute and think about it, Would you think about it, think about it . . ."
Girl (audibly annoyed): "I'm thinkin' about it, I'm thinkin' about it."
Teddy: "Been sittin' here, for quite a long while . . .
Girl: "Yeah, I'm slightly bored . . . I hate being bored."
Teddy: "See I been watchin' you . . ."
Girl (The ice now, suddenly, broken):"I been doing the same thing, I been checking you out all night."
Teddy: "You look so nice, you look so sweet . . .
Girl (vaguely giggly): "Oh, thank you, that's sweet."
Teddy: "Look like you should be with me . . ."
Girl: "Yeah, but what are you gonna do with me, that's the problem.
Teddy: "Seems like you feel the same way I do . . ."
Girl: "You said your car's right outside?"
Thus does the legendary smooth talking, silk-scarf dangling ladies man cross the line into high-pressure used car sales territory – but dammit, he gets the job done.
"Come on and Go With Me" is pretty representative of the rest of the album. The only other thing you might possibly need to know about Teddy (other than that it's awesome), is that the very next song is titled "Turn out the Lights," and starts with this bit of verse:
"Let's take a shower .. . .shower together/
I'll wash your body (pronounced ba-day), and you'll wash mine . . .
"Rub me down with some hot oils baby . . ."
Yeah, it's like that.
The first song is "Come Go with Me," and it's about Teddy picking up a girl at the club. He lays his game out right from the start, and his follow-through is direct - but he still manages to come off subtle, like he's not just some sleazoid hustler, but instead a classy, upfront guy who just happens to be after sex with a complete stranger:
"I don't feel like being lonely tonight/
You see I want . . . I want some company."
Teddy's voice, despite his upwardly mobile approach to matters of love, has the blues in it like Robert Johnson – he's carrying a heavy load of heartache, and he works it. Right from the start, he makes himself vulnerable – he's lonely, just lookin' for a little company to distract him from a deep, abiding sorrow. Any woman who'd let those sorts of wounds go unconsoled would have to be truly cold and unfeeling – right?
"You look like you're the type for me/
You're the kind whose spirits are running free."
See how he turns the act of sleeping with him as some sort of rebellion, an assertion of independence? What if you could convince girls that rubbing up against you was akin to their, say, throwing themselves in front of Chinese tanks in Tiananmen? That's like the laser-guided precision missile of pickup lines – it gets the job done, while sparing the innocent emotions and self-respect that are so often the unfortunate casualties.
"Let's take a sip of some cold, cold wine/
And dance to the music nice and slow.
You won't be under any kind of pressure . . .
You'll see we'll just let the evening flow."
Best line of the song, right there: "You won't be under any kind of pressure." Great within the song, and hilarious in what it expresses to me. If I ever told a girl she "wouldn't be under any pressure," I'd be more likely to get smacked for that than for, say, asking her to go make out. Because A) while it at first seems downright demure, it actually reinforces that sex is one of the possibilities for the evening, and B) it's just so slimy! Eeeeeew!
And it's not like girls in Teddy's day took him at face value – but it, again, helped them feel good about what they were doing by getting them to think about it in a different way. If it's just "hanging out" rather than "going home with a total stranger," she's less likely to feel like she's doing something dangerous, stupid, or worst of all, slutty. See, Teddy's all about building her up - it's utterly amazing.
(Chorus)
"C'mon over to my place (Background: would you do that baby, would you do that baby?)"
Notice how he's asking if she would "do that," i.e. if she would "c'mon over to my place," while simultaneously asking if she would "do that," i.e. let him use her body as a pommel horse.
Teddy: "My car's right outside, we can leave right now/
That's if you're ready to go.
I know that you're just meetin' me/
I'd understand if you said no . . . but don't you do it babe, don't you do it!"
The last bit is delivered in a tragic wail, as if, though he would gladly let her go if she said no, he would take into himself at that moment not only his own loneliness and disappointment, but also a deep knowledge of the joy that this poor girl, in her misguided pretense of virtue, had missed out on sharing with him. It wouldn't just be a tragedy for Teddy, it would be a tragedy for the whole damn cosmos.
As great as all this is, the really genius part of the song comes about two thirds of the way through, when a girl's voice enters the scene, and we hear Teddy, still in full, mournful throat, working to close the sale:
Teddy: "Come on home with me . . . come over to my place"
Girl (Firm, but with a hint of doubt): No. No. Un-uh. Not tonight, no.
Teddy: "It's not far from here . . .
Girl: "I'm leaving."
Teddy (not losing his cool a bit, and, remember, still singing): Would you just take a minute and think about it, Would you think about it, think about it . . ."
Girl (audibly annoyed): "I'm thinkin' about it, I'm thinkin' about it."
Teddy: "Been sittin' here, for quite a long while . . .
Girl: "Yeah, I'm slightly bored . . . I hate being bored."
Teddy: "See I been watchin' you . . ."
Girl (The ice now, suddenly, broken):"I been doing the same thing, I been checking you out all night."
Teddy: "You look so nice, you look so sweet . . .
Girl (vaguely giggly): "Oh, thank you, that's sweet."
Teddy: "Look like you should be with me . . ."
Girl: "Yeah, but what are you gonna do with me, that's the problem.
Teddy: "Seems like you feel the same way I do . . ."
Girl: "You said your car's right outside?"
Thus does the legendary smooth talking, silk-scarf dangling ladies man cross the line into high-pressure used car sales territory – but dammit, he gets the job done.
"Come on and Go With Me" is pretty representative of the rest of the album. The only other thing you might possibly need to know about Teddy (other than that it's awesome), is that the very next song is titled "Turn out the Lights," and starts with this bit of verse:
"Let's take a shower .. . .shower together/
I'll wash your body (pronounced ba-day), and you'll wash mine . . .
"Rub me down with some hot oils baby . . ."
Yeah, it's like that.
Monday, February 16, 2004
The Grey Album
The Grey Album (DJ Dangermouse's remix of Jay-Z's Black Album, using only elements of The Beatles' White Album) will completely change your perspective on Jay-Z. My respect for the man has long been based on his ability to make hot singles, and for being an island of cool confidence in rap's mad cage. But he's also an artist in the most profound sense, something that becomes obvious thanks to DM. I've never heard Reasonable Doubt, so maybe there you'll find something as soulful as Dangermouse's work, something that does as good a job of framing the underfrequency of sorrow, regret, and true wisdom that Jay brings. The Grey Album a completely different album from the Black Album, and I'm pretty sure it's better.
It makes you think about his storyline in weird new ways, hints at new emotional territory. Like, what about the Project mom who, in addition to beeing terrified that her son has gotten mixed up on some gang or other, is secretly proud when he starts buying her things with drug loot? How do the pride and the fear and revulsion square up? I've never seen or heard this treated - but the Grey Album's version of "December 4th" hints at it.
Download the Grey Album from Illegal Art before it is wiped from the face of the earth in a hail of RIAA brimstone.
It makes you think about his storyline in weird new ways, hints at new emotional territory. Like, what about the Project mom who, in addition to beeing terrified that her son has gotten mixed up on some gang or other, is secretly proud when he starts buying her things with drug loot? How do the pride and the fear and revulsion square up? I've never seen or heard this treated - but the Grey Album's version of "December 4th" hints at it.
Download the Grey Album from Illegal Art before it is wiped from the face of the earth in a hail of RIAA brimstone.
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